The language in this makes me cringe, but it is genuinely funny.
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84
Well done! You know, I can't tolerate caffeine or even hot chocolate drinks now. They always give me headaches. Yes, water and juice are perfect. If you're just thirsty, then water, but if you need a sugar hit, then juice is excellent. What's your favourite? I love pineapple and orange (combined) or grape juice. Mango nectar is to die for, but the stuff we get is only 25% juice and has sugar added. Still tastes divine.
Are you feeling any benefit from giving all that up?
Now you wont believe me but my favourite drink is orange n pineapple sugar free or orange n mango sugar free, we have the same tastes Dezzie Made by Robinson's they make great drinks that you just add water too, lemon barley water is another nice one ...
Don't you be swallowing aspartame or any artificial sweeteners! They will really hurt you.
Errrrrrrrr dont tell me that, i think they must be ok because robinson's are what the tennis players drink at Wimbledon and they are health freaks aren't they,,,,,see now i gotta go check scare mungerer you iz AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES IT HAS GOT THAT INIT...................AM GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
I'll send flowers.
So thoughtful :O)
It's one of my finest qualities. I have so many, I forget the details sometimes. You must also struggle to remember all my fine qualities. I can write you a list, if you like. To carry in your wallet.
Flowers are for the living to enjoy, here's a stamp im sure there's enough room to right down your finer qualities :O)
Ah, Greasshopper - you begin to learn from the Master! You shall have pudding today!
Ha ha ha,,,I just knew you'd like that one, i been practising very hard indeed :O)
If you're not goin' to eat all that there pudding, c'n I have some?
Do you like the hard crusty bits from around the hedge, cuz i saved um all four yew :O)
Butchoo sucked 'em first! I never thought of you as greedy, Mikey. Before today.
I WAS JUST SOFTENING UM UP FOR YOU,Meeeeeeeee Greeeeeeeeeedy how could you say such a thing after all i have shared with you :O(
Let me count the ways...Oh, yes - there was the xmas gift that never made it. And the birthday gifts. And the invitations to dinner - a multitude of those never arrived. But you did offer to loan me your goose, I'll grant you that.
You always has to exaggeration dont you, has to make a mountain out of a mole hill i dont know what happened its your import an export people must have kept everything cuz they where too good :O)
Oh. Well, then...I suspose that might be the reason. After all, you did offer yer goose, an' that's awfully generous. Okay, all is forgivven. But I'll still pass on the puddin crusts, hiff its alla same. I juss ate a punnet of strawberries, an' I coodent tuch anuvver fing.
Selfish a hole punjet of strawburrys to yourself, i wunner forget that,,after me sharing wiv yoo...
I saved the green bits. If you want 'em, send me a stamped, self-addressed envelope an' I'll drop 'em inna mail for you. No, really! No, it's no trubble for a fren. Yes, I know I'm too kind, but, hey! Thass wot frens are for, right?
Yoo has burt a teer two me eyes naw such jennyrosserty beyond beeleaf sniff sniff ....... :O(
Hmm...I suspose now is not the kerek time to add that I woz gunna senjoo the bill nex week to giv you tyme to pay.
Its hamazing juss how quick you can go hoff people innit Dezzie :O(
I woodent know, Mikey. I has allus likeded you. Yore so lucky. I don' take to juss hennyboddy. Yor not goin' to b'leev this, but hye can be quite rude to some people. No! Really!
Funny henuff i beeleeve you Dezzie Dun hask me why butt high do :O)